"Vulnerable"

It is probably unreasonable for me to make up my own definition for words, but since I've been writing, I do it often. Certain words "speak" to me with a particular meaning, and it doesn't matter that the rest of the world thinks differently about the meaning, I am going to stick to mine. Switching gears quickly, I will try and explain, although the explanation might be convoluted.

Following the death of my Mother nearly fifty years ago, my Father and I decided to get a Welsh terrier. When I was a child (about 5) we had a Wire Hair terrier named Daisy, who was very smart, very crazy, and would bite me every chance she could. When we discussed the new name for the new puppy, my Dad insisted on calling the dog Daisy, and when I objected he said "Norman, you can call the dog whatever you want, I'm calling her Daisy" I expect that those words settled the issue. He decided, and the name issue was over.

When I was about 12 or 13 at summer camp, I was talking to a very pretty young woman of 16 about why she had lost a swimming race to her boy friend. She said that she really loved him, and that he would never have been able to sustain his losing a race to her. She went on to say that most men are unwilling to compete in many ways with women.

This is a very difficult issue. She knew him, and was willing to accept him as he was in order to have a relationship with him. Was this reasonable? Should she have accommodated him in this way? My conclusion was and is that she "needed to do what she needed to do" period. Not for me, or anyone else to judge.

If you were to look up the word "vulnerable", this is what you would find. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.

Susceptible to attack: "We are vulnerable both by water and land, without either fleet or army" (Alexander Hamilton). Open to censure or criticism; assailable. Liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation

At lunch a couple of weeks ago, in an upscale restaurant I go to a lot, a waitress (Mary) I have known for 5 or 6 years asked "Norman, I haven't seen you here in quite some time with a date, what's going on. I jokingly told her that I had given up women, and when she asked why, followed by what are you looking for, I needed to think for a moment.

Age: 55-65, attractive, smart, a liberal, and vulnerable. Mary questioned me on the vulnerable part, and I explained that I preferred women that were as smart or smarter then I am, yet DO NOT NEED TO PROVE IT AT ALL TIMES. To me, that is "vulnerable".

I once dated a brilliant, well-educated woman from Toronto who is instinctively aware of that. We could have endless discourse about things and she had much less a need to be right then I did. She could be spunky about things, yet never demeaning to me. We are now just friends, but our conversations still have the same texture.

I no longer need not to set out each day to prove how "smart" I am. I was a major pain in the ass as a younger man, but circumstances have been such that I have allowed myself to grow up, and not need to "prove" myself at all times. Following my definition of "vulnerable" I only want to hang out with women who are that way.

Perhaps I should get a dog instead. It would probably be easier, and I could name it WHATEVER I choose.

Norman Horowitz

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